Cinnamon Raisin Toast ~ Mmmmm
The kitchen here has started including some really amazing bakery-made cinnamon raisin bread in the large selection of breads available at breakfast. I go for it whenever I see it. Yum! ?
I was fascinated by what happened at breakfast the other day related to this scrumptious bread. I had grabbed two pieces and put them in the conveyer belt toaster that is there for the masses (there were about 100 people staying here to attend the one-week course that was in progress). While the toaster was slowly progressing, I went to get a bowl of cereal. So far so good. I was gone for about 2 minutes. But when I got back, the toast was not in the toaster anywhere. Or, should I say, MY toast was not in the toaster anywhere. Where could it be? Then, I realized that I had used the last two pieces. Who would have taken MY toast? I looked around, and saw a lady near the butter who had four pieces of this scrumptious cinnamon raisin toast on her plate. Believe it or not, I went up to her and asked her if she had toasted four slices. I told her that I had left two pieces in the toaster. She basically said, “Oh. Go ahead. You can take them.” Sheesh. Can you believe it?
Here’s the thing: It’s almost embarrassing to admit how I felt when the toast was missing. Is my peace of mind so fragile? Hmmmm
I’m developing the habit of noticing whenever my mind gets ruffled. I figure it’s a chance to apply the teachings that I’m immersed in here as the tech guy who is running the sound and video recording for as many as seven classes per day. Why did my mind get agitated? Vedanta philosophy teaches that most of our suffering can be traced to the sense of “me and mine”. It’s basically selfishness. It’s craving and attachment and expectation. I realized that somewhere between the time that I first saw the bread in it’s package and the time that I put it in the toaster, I had recategorized it from being anyone’s bread to being MY bread. It was now only for ME to eat. I had craving for it. I was attached to it. I expected to eat it (soon!). So, when it disappeared, I suffered a little “tizzy”. What a perfect example proving the causes of suffering! Of course, it’s just a very small example, but if I can learn to apply the teachings in small scenarios first, then I will have a better chance with the bigger scenarios. I can’t imagine what people must be going through who have lost their homes to the fire in Redding, CA, this week. I’m willing to bet that whoever is able to let go of “me and mine” will suffer the least. Whoever can let go of attachment and expectation will have the best odds of carrying on smoothly. We can’t control what happens to us, but I believe the teaching that we can control how we react to what happens to us, with practice and non-attachment. Based on the toast example, I’m obviously not there yet, but if the reward is peace of mind, then the effort is totally worth it!
Question for myself: Is there anything that I “own” that I have given the power to control my peace of mind? Hmmmm
Work in progress,
Sahadev ?
QUOTES FROM MY NOTES
Suppose you’re in a good mood. Can one phone call ruin your harmonious state of mind? Get established in equanimity.
When experiencing suffering due to some outer circumstances, or even personal physical pain, become “transparent”.
Notice how the objects and activities that you acquire and engage in do not fulfill you when they are self-centered.
Notice how the moments that you are happy are the moments that you are not searching for happiness.
In love, there is no seeking. There is only giving. ?
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